
1. The Shirtless Headphones Guy aka The Goon
– Must blast shitty music on headphones at all times.
– Must skate totally oblivious to you or anything else going on around him.
– Skullcandy or Dre Beats only.
– Optional T-shirt takeoff and crappy uncoordinated style.
2. The Benchwarmer
-“Skates” (rides around the park one time and then sits down to smoke cigarettes / txt people on his phone.)
-Must sit on bench or ledges and block you over and over again.
-Will spit on the ground and write dumb shit like “RYAN IZ LAME” on obstacles with black sharpie.
-Has nothing better to do.
3. The Sketchball
-Smoking weed or cigarettes highly recommended.
-Must not skateboard.
-Must sit around everyone else’s stuff and look sketchy / make skaters paranoid.
-May steal your iPod/Phone/Wallet and run as fast as he can.
-Will be caught and beat up by Koston.
4. The Ramp Tramp
-Ages 13 – 17.
-Comes in all shapes and sizes: Pre-teen, Goth, Emo.
-Thinks “other girls suck”.
5. The Group of Kids That ONLY Play S.K.A.T.E.
-Ages 13 – 18.
-Will play SKATE at bottom of the miniramp, bowl, or next to an obstacle you want to skate.
-Must never actually skate the rest of the park.
-Get picked up by parents.
6. The Kids Who Slide Down The Ramps aka The Chucky Cheezes
-Ages 3 – 6.
-Must use entire skatepark like giant playground.
-Real playground must be very close.
-Must make you never want to have kids.
7. The Pre-Teen Scooter Kid aka The Twerp
-Ages 6 – 12.
-Must get in your way 99% of the time.
-Must only try quadruple tailwhips.
-Must wear helmet too big for head.
-Must look like an asshole.
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November 11, 2013 11:54 am
This really is the 2nd blog, of urs I browsed. Still I
like this specific 1, “7 PEOPLE YOU WILL ENCOUNTER AT ANY SKATEPARK | Jenkem Magazine” the most.
Thanks -Elvis
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November 20, 2013 7:40 pm
100% true
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November 20, 2013 11:04 pm
In my town there are the group of little mexican kids (9-12) that always cruise around on busted scooters or bikes or boards or what ever they can get their hands on. they are harmless as far as theft go and they are friendly but they are annoying and constantly buzz through the park and almost kill people and ask to ride other people bikes or what ever they have. the old guy also needs a representation.. the old dudes haha
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November 24, 2013 6:18 pm
Lol seeing as how I’m 40 and still sk8 I’m under the old guy category but my favorite is the young kid who thinks he’s a pro and better than everyone else but in reality never has a chance to get flowed or sponsored because his attitude is just like his skating shitty!
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