7 PEOPLE YOU WILL ENCOUNTER AT ANY SKATEPARK

May 6, 2013/ / ARTICLES/ Comments: 122

Skater_Headphones

1. The Shirtless Headphones Guy aka The Goon

– Must blast shitty music on headphones at all times.
– Must skate totally oblivious to you or anything else going on around him.
– Skullcandy or Dre Beats only.
– Optional T-shirt takeoff and crappy uncoordinated style.

skatepark_benchwarmer

2. The Benchwarmer

-“Skates” (rides around the park one time and then sits down to smoke cigarettes / txt people on his phone.)
-Must sit on bench or ledges and block you over and over again.
-Will spit on the ground and write dumb shit like “RYAN IZ LAME” on obstacles with black sharpie.
-Has nothing better to do.

SketchBall_Teenager_Jenkem_Smoking_Skatepark2

3. The Sketchball

-Smoking weed or cigarettes highly recommended.
-Must not skateboard.
-Must sit around everyone else’s stuff and look sketchy / make skaters paranoid.
-May steal your iPod/Phone/Wallet and run as fast as he can.
-Will be caught and beat up by Koston.

ramp tramp

4. The Ramp Tramp

-Ages 13 – 17.
-Comes in all shapes and sizes: Pre-teen, Goth, Emo.
-Thinks “other girls suck”.

Skatepark Game Of SKATE

5. The Group of Kids That ONLY Play S.K.A.T.E.

-Ages 13 – 18.
-Will play SKATE at bottom of the miniramp, bowl, or next to an obstacle you want to skate.
-Must never actually skate the rest of the park.
-Get picked up by parents.

skate park kids ramps sliding

6. The Kids Who Slide Down The Ramps aka The Chucky Cheezes

-Ages 3 – 6.
-Must use entire skatepark like giant playground.
-Real playground must be very close.
-Must make you never want to have kids.

skatepark_scooter_suck

7. The Pre-Teen Scooter Kid aka The Twerp

-Ages 6 – 12.
-Must get in your way 99% of the time.
-Must only try quadruple tailwhips.
-Must wear helmet too big for head.
-Must look like an asshole.

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Comments

  1. Nick Williams

    June 2, 2016 1:34 am

    The funny thing is – the only skateboarders I ever see at skate parks these days are sitting around and doing nothing.

  2. Old Crusty Too

    June 2, 2016 7:34 am

    Arrive – 30 minutes of stretching, killer session avoiding the groms with the old crusty crew. Then back to reality.

  3. BigTexas Assasin

    October 3, 2016 1:28 pm

    Shut up and skate! Kill all scooter kids and their parents.
    Street-check
    Vert-check
    Park-check
    I don’t do these but…
    Freestyle-yes
    Slalom-yes
    Down hill- yes
    It’s just skateboarding. Wash your pussies and stop hating like a bunch of faggots.

  4. Skate bitch

    November 25, 2016 5:05 pm

    Lol do yall get annoyed by agressive inline skaters (just wonderin because Im one)

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