7 PEOPLE YOU WILL ENCOUNTER AT ANY SKATEPARK

May 6, 2013/ / ARTICLES/ Comments: 122

Skater_Headphones

1. The Shirtless Headphones Guy aka The Goon

– Must blast shitty music on headphones at all times.
– Must skate totally oblivious to you or anything else going on around him.
– Skullcandy or Dre Beats only.
– Optional T-shirt takeoff and crappy uncoordinated style.

skatepark_benchwarmer

2. The Benchwarmer

-“Skates” (rides around the park one time and then sits down to smoke cigarettes / txt people on his phone.)
-Must sit on bench or ledges and block you over and over again.
-Will spit on the ground and write dumb shit like “RYAN IZ LAME” on obstacles with black sharpie.
-Has nothing better to do.

SketchBall_Teenager_Jenkem_Smoking_Skatepark2

3. The Sketchball

-Smoking weed or cigarettes highly recommended.
-Must not skateboard.
-Must sit around everyone else’s stuff and look sketchy / make skaters paranoid.
-May steal your iPod/Phone/Wallet and run as fast as he can.
-Will be caught and beat up by Koston.

ramp tramp

4. The Ramp Tramp

-Ages 13 – 17.
-Comes in all shapes and sizes: Pre-teen, Goth, Emo.
-Thinks “other girls suck”.

Skatepark Game Of SKATE

5. The Group of Kids That ONLY Play S.K.A.T.E.

-Ages 13 – 18.
-Will play SKATE at bottom of the miniramp, bowl, or next to an obstacle you want to skate.
-Must never actually skate the rest of the park.
-Get picked up by parents.

skate park kids ramps sliding

6. The Kids Who Slide Down The Ramps aka The Chucky Cheezes

-Ages 3 – 6.
-Must use entire skatepark like giant playground.
-Real playground must be very close.
-Must make you never want to have kids.

skatepark_scooter_suck

7. The Pre-Teen Scooter Kid aka The Twerp

-Ages 6 – 12.
-Must get in your way 99% of the time.
-Must only try quadruple tailwhips.
-Must wear helmet too big for head.
-Must look like an asshole.

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Comments

  1. Psykeclops

    May 7, 2013 12:07 am

    what about the guy who always tries murderflips/dolphinflips/forwardflips? hes at every park.

  2. Roger

    May 7, 2013 4:11 am

    The only gripe that people here have with parents is that a lot of them fail to respect the skateboarders who frequent a park. I mean, its really cool that you’re supporting your kid’s skateboarding, but at the same time, please understand that the picnic table by the kicker is meant to be skated, not a place to put your bags and stuff down on. But I wont classify all skate parents into one group either, but maybe make a post called “The 7 types of parents you will meet at a skatepark”.

    I have a story of this one small spot. Basically with any spot, there is a “flow” to the spot; areas that are meant to be doing lines, and a seperate area for flatground tricks/practice ollieing. Well I’ll make it short. One time a dad decided to take his son skating. Has his son try and do everything right in front of the most skated obstacle in the park, the euro gap, and gets pissed at people for skating the euro gap. It became enough when 3 dudes had to end their day due to swerving away from the lil kid. Two slammed straight into the hubba next to it and another got tangled up on a handrail. We ended up having to sit the dad down and talk like adults.

  3. Angelo Ong

    May 7, 2013 6:24 am

    so hilars

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