7 PEOPLE YOU WILL ENCOUNTER AT ANY SKATEPARK

May 6, 2013/ / ARTICLES/ Comments: 122

Skater_Headphones

1. The Shirtless Headphones Guy aka The Goon

– Must blast shitty music on headphones at all times.
– Must skate totally oblivious to you or anything else going on around him.
– Skullcandy or Dre Beats only.
– Optional T-shirt takeoff and crappy uncoordinated style.

skatepark_benchwarmer

2. The Benchwarmer

-“Skates” (rides around the park one time and then sits down to smoke cigarettes / txt people on his phone.)
-Must sit on bench or ledges and block you over and over again.
-Will spit on the ground and write dumb shit like “RYAN IZ LAME” on obstacles with black sharpie.
-Has nothing better to do.

SketchBall_Teenager_Jenkem_Smoking_Skatepark2

3. The Sketchball

-Smoking weed or cigarettes highly recommended.
-Must not skateboard.
-Must sit around everyone else’s stuff and look sketchy / make skaters paranoid.
-May steal your iPod/Phone/Wallet and run as fast as he can.
-Will be caught and beat up by Koston.

ramp tramp

4. The Ramp Tramp

-Ages 13 – 17.
-Comes in all shapes and sizes: Pre-teen, Goth, Emo.
-Thinks “other girls suck”.

Skatepark Game Of SKATE

5. The Group of Kids That ONLY Play S.K.A.T.E.

-Ages 13 – 18.
-Will play SKATE at bottom of the miniramp, bowl, or next to an obstacle you want to skate.
-Must never actually skate the rest of the park.
-Get picked up by parents.

skate park kids ramps sliding

6. The Kids Who Slide Down The Ramps aka The Chucky Cheezes

-Ages 3 – 6.
-Must use entire skatepark like giant playground.
-Real playground must be very close.
-Must make you never want to have kids.

skatepark_scooter_suck

7. The Pre-Teen Scooter Kid aka The Twerp

-Ages 6 – 12.
-Must get in your way 99% of the time.
-Must only try quadruple tailwhips.
-Must wear helmet too big for head.
-Must look like an asshole.

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Comments

  1. Bas (thebastard)

    May 7, 2013 12:42 pm

    This is obviously written by someone underneath the age of 20. Funny but you have to turn your opinion more into facts son.

  2. rockit

    May 7, 2013 12:52 pm

    i say scooters shall be deemed fruit booters jr.

  3. Chris

    May 7, 2013 1:59 pm

    Totaly true… but I am something around number 5 (play a lot of S.K.A.T.E) and 8 trying hard tricks on kickers

  4. victor

    May 7, 2013 7:58 pm

    u forgot the ‘rad dad’s, over 40 fully padded on a powell peralta reissue, that bring their cluless offspring. this list seems west coast though, in jersey ramp tramps dont exist, and skooter twerps are a locust plauge taking over that wont die, makes u wish inliners came back

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