Welcome back, lurkers, to the next installment of Office Picks! The special time every month when we let ourselves out of our cages and tell you what we’re doing over here. As much time as we at Jenkem spend thinking about ourselves, we pay attention to other junk too. We like music and movies, we enjoy a tasty beverage, hell, some of us can even read!

Every month we’ll share the nerdy and not so nerdy things we’re listening to, reading, watching, eating, and ashamed of. Check out our February 2018 picks, you might even find something here more important in your life than Jenkem (as crazy as that may seem).

Listening to…

Cum Town
Horribly offensive and problematic podcast that I shouldn’t listen to and neither should you that my girlfriend has chastised me over and over again for listening to. Do not recommend.

Reading…

Ubik by Philip K. Dick
I just started this so can’t say much but PKD is good and I love his other works. Fun fact: I didn’t know Blade Runner was based on Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? ’cause I’m dumb as hell.

Watching…

Call Me By Your Name
This movie is a poem. At once as beautiful as it is devastating. The kid fucks an apricot in one scene.

Brewing & Pooing…

Bell pepper meatloaf
Sound weird, right? I googled “quick healthy dinners” and this was one of the first things to come up, and it came out surprisingly well. Still not sure meatloaf is particularly healthy, oops.

Ashamed of…

Buying a cryptocurrency hardware wallet
It’s official, I’m a piece of shit. I have a tangible USB to hold my intangible, volatile and oft criticized digital money. At least its not an Ethereum sweatshirt.

Listening to…

Funky Was The State of Affairs – Fergus & Geronimo
I’ve been on a serious Parquet Courts tip lately, so I went backward and discovered frontman Andrew Savage’s other projects. This album is kind of like if Devo and Wire had an outcast baby that went to art school and it made this LP as its thesis.

Reading…

My Tyshawn Jones Interview
I’ll jerk myself just a little harder than I already am cause this was a fun one and anyone who fucks with Tyshawn (or doesn’t) would likely enjoy this.

Watching…

The Nine Club – Alex Olson
My attention span is so fucked I can never get through a full Nine Club episode (sorry C Rob!), but I thoroughly enjoyed every second of this. Full disclosure: I’m unabashedly the biggest AO Stan on staff.

Brewing & Pooing…

Xi’an Famous Foods – Oxtail noodle soup
Still cold as fuck, still soup season. If you don’t mind picking meat off bones, this shit is basically a delicacy.

Ashamed of…

Telling someone I was 22 instead of 24
It was a total accident, but it was probably my ID trying to tell me I still act much younger than I really am and need to check myself.

Listening to…

Pod Save America
A few former Obama staffers created a podcast and media company to talk politics in this confusing time.

Reading…

The Cut – “The Worst Rim-Job Story Ever”
Who doesn’t love a good “fart in the mouth” story?

Watching…

The End of the F***ing World
It’s super corny but I just want to see if he actually kills her. I don’t think he will.

Brewing & Pooing…

Coffee and a spliff
This weekend I started both days the same; a cup of coffe and a properly rolled spliff. Best way to kick off the day. Check out my recipe!

Ashamed of…

Pooping twice in the same coffee shop in the span of an hour.
I think they were serving up a nice laxative cold brew.

Listening to…

WTF w/ Marc Maron – ep. 877 “Marc’s Family”
Marc plays a bunch of uncomfortable recorded phone calls with his mom, dad, and brother. While the idea is narcissistically exploitative, it makes you reexamine your relationships with all your family members. A real boost for insecure people.

Reading…

Theft By Finding: Diaries 1977-2002 by David Sedaris
The last epistolary novel I read was the 18th century dry-ass classic Pamela when I was in college and stoned all the time. David Sedaris’ diary is way easier to read and he smokes a lot of weed in it so I don’t have to. Great for bitter people.

Watching…

Philip K. Dick’s Electric Dreams
If you were also super disappointed in the fourth season of Black Mirror, Electric Dreams is your redemption. It’s more futuristic sci-fi than terror by technology, but it keeps the human, emotional element up front. Only bummer: no topless cyborgs.

Brewing & Pooing…

Lazy Man Pizza
The secret to making frozen pizza not taste like utter sadness is adding your own fresh toppings. Add sautéed mushrooms or peppers, basil leaves, and mozzarella and parmesan cheese so it looks like something you actually want to eat!

Ashamed of…

Peeing in a large water bottle and leaving it at the office to become Sun Tea. Hmu if you want a taste.

Listening to…

“The Killing Moon” – Pavement (live)
The song from Shiloh Greathouse’s First Love part covered live by one of the greatest and most underrated bands of the ’90s, what’s not to love?

Reading…

Codex Seraphinianus – Luigi Serafini
I haven’t exactly been “reading” this since it’s written in an undecipherable language, but ever since running across a .pdf of this encyclopedia of an alien world I’ve been tripping out hard on the scope and detail of Serafini’s imagination.

Watching…

Blue Planet II
Full of fascinating narratives about fish and octopuses and sharks and the intricate society they keep, all shot in a cinematic style to make Ty Evans jealous. A remarkable achievement in nature documentary filmmaking. (Also fun to get stoned, turn it on mute, and set it to a soundtrack of your choosing.)

Brewing & Pooing…

Queen Majesty Scotch Bonnet & Ginger Hot Sauce
Some friends got me a bottle of this deliciously sharp sauce for Christmas and now I can’t stop putting it all over everything I eat.

Ashamed of…

Not saying ‘what up’ to Shawn Powers when I saw him at the skate spot.
I encountered the mythic, Palace-clad kid rolling up a joint and rapping to himself a popular basketball court spot in Brooklyn. I was too shook to say ‘hello’ and instead admired his kit and untied Fila’s from afar.

Listening to…

Kllo – Backwater LP
My brother (Michna) releases music on the label Ghostly International so I keep a pretty close eye on whatever they put out. Most recently it’s been the band “Kllo” – light poppy vocals over two-steppy UK garage type beats.

Reading…

Settlers of Catan
I haven’t been reading recently because I am very lazy and need instant gratification but I have been playing a lot of Settlers of Catan with the crew. Fun ass game kinda feels like a mix of Monopoly and Risk.

Watching…

Jason Ellis eats a Shark Heart
SHAHK HAHT!!

Brewing & Pooing…

Dark Chocolate Dreams Peanut Butter
When you need that sugar boost in the morning or at that 3pm slump I just throw some of this on a Banana and it’s like a healthy / better tasting candy bar.

Ashamed of…

Reactivating my Bumble
I really hate swipey dating since it’s really more just of a tease than anything else but it’s cold AF outside and I’m getting cabin fever.

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